December 11-I was born in 1958, so my most vivid childhood Christmas memories are concentrated in the late 1960s and early 1970s-basically in the Nixon era.

They involve toys such as vibrating electric football games, bicycles with banana seats, and daisy BB guns.

Although most of us have fond memories of childhood Christmas, not all "back to the past" are perfect. For fun, I Googled "contrary to nostalgia", and the word "regret" was provided on the Internet.

So, in the spirit of anti-nostalgia, here are some things I regret about Christmas around 1970.

-Chocolate cherries: Christmas at the Kennedy House is a lot of chocolate cherries. They are my aunts' first choice gifts because they are very cheap and you can buy them at Woolworth's.

I am not against chocolate and cherries; what bothers me is the liquid used to suspend the cherries. What it is? When you bite it down, it will flow out from the corner of your mouth.

— Tinsel: My children don't know tinsel. I describe it as pasta made of aluminum foil. When I was a kid, almost everyone used to throw it around to add luster to their Christmas tree.

But it has many problems. It is ugly, wasteful, and difficult to clean up. In addition, it also causes mental health problems in some domestic cats.

— Shag carpet: Like most houses in the 1970s, our house is also covered with a lovely rainbow-like shag carpet of earth tones. During the holidays, my job is to tidy the carpet, which means raking it vigorously with a leaf rake while watching the replay of "Gilligan Island".

The problem with mixing shag rugs and Christmas is that it provides a perfect nesting site for small plastic soldiers. Then, for the rest of the year, you have to tiptoe across the living room, lest you step on one of these little guys with his bayonet facing upwards.

— Ambrosia: So technically, Ambrosia is the food of the gods. But in our house, this is a very special fruit salad, which my dad made for Christmas. I think this is some kind of super food during the Great Depression.

I think this is terrible. The ingredients are orange slices, pineapple, coconut, whipped cream, baby marshmallows and a few pounds of pure sugar. Why some people think this is a hearty dish is beyond my imagination. The great gods can keep it.

— Old Spice: When you can't think of anything for Dad to spend Christmas, Old Spice aftershave is the default choice. The smell is too sweet, you can smell it from the other side of the room. I can still evoke this smell in my mind. No intention to offend the manufacturer of Old Spice, but my idea of ​​masculinity has developed.

— Flash Cube: Ok, if you remember these little babies, please raise your hand: the four-sided flash "cube" connected to the Kodak Instamatic camera. My problem is afterglow—the blue spots that these little bulbs leave on my retina.

In addition, you have to wait days or even weeks to see the photos that must be processed in the pharmacy. Digital photography is one of the miracles of my life.

— Insomnia: From 4 to 14 years old, I was basically a wreck on Christmas Eve. I never slept until the early morning and often woke up before dawn (forever). Thankfully, I finally evolved into the genius sleeper I am today. I can and can sleep on demand.

— M-80: Thankfully, these dynamite sticks have been illegal for decades. But in the past, my father had a friend who owned a fireworks stand. He made sure that we had a bag full of these evil little fireworks every Christmas. The mere thought of these things made me cringe—and giggled at the same time.

—Chemistry suit: I don’t think the word poison was invented in the 1960s. I remember a chemical device filled with all kinds of strange and peculiar substances. I think my parents hope it will stimulate my interest in science. At the same time, my sister bought an Easy-Bake oven. No one woke up in 1970.

— Cigar: One of my father's best friends is a big cigar smoker. He would come every Saturday morning during the holidays and light a Hav-A-Tampa gem, which made the house smelly for a week. Oh, joy.

At the same time, my 14-year-old son is not familiar with the principles of smoking. He asked me the other day if he put a $5 bill in the ashtray of our truck, would it naturally turn into ashes.

Send an email to Mark Kennedy at mkennedy@timesfreepress.com.

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